tuRmoiL

Bread & Butter

2011-10-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

Look who's back blogging?

Oh, I guess she's lonely!

Nah, you are wrong!

She had a 'TERRIFICALl' night watching movie with her old friend. She was his old flame :)

Well sometimes I wonder why I've missed out so many good guys. I cant seem to see them till they were gone. I looked but I didn't see. How 'SCUPID'! Ouch...

I guess it is because I freak out too often when a guy really cares for me and then I'll distant myself from him. Why do I do that? IDK!!!!

I miss hanging out with my close friends. Bitches, you have always been busy, I hate youuuu!!!

and...yeah my cousin is getting married in November. Apparently she's my best friend and she's getting married and she is moving out from her apartment in Sentul which happens to be my 'Weekend's Home'. How not fun is that? ;(

Oh Please Lie!

2011-06-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

Lie to me
Lie to me
Lie to me

I don't want to know what I'd know to be true
So tell me another lie.

Nyilu

2011-04-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

Semalam mase drive balik rawang from sentul, lengang giler Duke higwhay. Mane taknye dah pukul 12.30 a.m. Pelik betul dekat satu selekoh yg gelap ni ade satu kete park kt situ. lampu tak pasang. Seram btl aku tgk. Aku pun ape lg, vroommm speed. Kot2 itu satu trick baru utk aim kete2 wanita SOLO di highway. Fuh cuak!

Mase kt PLUS highway dah almost sampai bukit beruntung, aku tgk cermin tade pun kete kat belakang tp tiba2 tersembul satu kete viva kt depan aku ala2 drift gitu. Sume guys je dlm kete tu. Punya la laju tak tau dtg dr mane tau2 dah kt depan aku seolah2 buat u-turn. aku la jd divider dorang. Wahsai cuak! Kalo aku crash into them mmg habisla. Nasib sempat slow down. Lepas tu aku speed up balik, pandang belakang pun tak. Ngeri btl. Tobat, tak nak drive balik sorang2 lewat mlm dh pasni!

P/S* Waktu drive mlm smlm sempat ar layan2 feelings skt. Ade la terasa nyilu/pilu especially bile dgr lagu 'Selamat Tinggal' by Dina & Zizan.

Selamat tinggal kawanku,
tak mudah aku pergi
bila wajahmu sentiasa di hati ini...
walau kupergi sayangku
dalam jiwaku ini
kaulah cintaku yang kekal
Selamat tinggal...

Hello STALKER

2011-04-08T23:51:00.001+08:00

I know you read my blog. Since my last post was so emo, you might be thinking 'tula sape suruh tak pilih aku!' LOL. Shuddup! Sedangkan lidah lg tergigit, inikan pula hormones aku. Mestila ade ups and downs.

Well it has been more than 24 hours and some sense have knocked themselves into me and now I can think straight.

Well, as I predicted, my love story with burung dodo itu will end someday. It's just that it happened earlier than I expected. Better now than later (muda lagi ;p).

The good news is, I've moved on. lalalalalalala :)

p/s* Next week kursus kt Pangkor. The whole week tuh. yeahhhhhh! poya2. Just in time when i needed an emergency break! Cantik kan plan Tuhan utk kite? Lepas hati sakit dpt pulak holiday in pangkor. Siapa sangka? kau ada?

The END

2011-04-07T10:54:00.001+08:00

Thank God I survived last night - the night that has put everything to an end (FINALLY!)

The words YOU texted me took my breath away, LITERALLY. My heart stopped pumping for a few seconds. I can't breathe. I died for that few seconds. YOU killed me. There will be no more ME for YOU. Beg as YOU wish, but I'm dead. I'm dead for YOU.

This morning when I woke up I feel sick. I can't eat. I feel like vomiting each time I try to eat. I can't even walk properly. I can't smile. YOU know why? Because I am uber sick of YOU!!!

Been looking for the right succinct words to tell YOU how I feel about YOU and I found this song from Christina Perri - JAR of HEARTS.

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love
I loved the most

I learned to live, half a life
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live, half a life
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me

For every word she sings, I mean it.

P/S: This blog too, has almost come to an end. I want to start over - FRESH & NOT MISERABLE.

It aint Paranoia

2011-04-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

I feel nauseous and I can't swallow either my food or my pride.
I guess it hits me hard. Hard enough that I don't remember how to cry.
Bliss, this is a total bliss. I wish I could tell myself that.

Damn Thursday, come already!!!

AKU atau DIA?

2011-03-24T21:17:00.002+08:00

Pilih aku atau dia
Tinggalkan ku bila kau ingin bersamanya
Pilih aku atau dia
Tinggalkan ku bila kau ingin bersamanya

lalallalalala...this song stuck in my head 2 3 hari ni. Oitt ni tade kaitan dgn aku pun, saje aku suke. jgn nk buat gossip2 liar lak der. I'm a STRAWBERRY ok!

Hari ni lengkap la hidup aku dgn kehadiran buah hati baru ku. Yang lama2 dlu boleh jalan. Shuh p main jauh2.

p/s: Graduation dia: 25.3.2011

Graduation aku: 27.3.2011

Dekat2 je cam janji je. Awwww...sweet...NOT!

Anyway, congrats to both of us on our graduations. It has been a long and tough journey. I am glad we make it to the end. One day if one of us wakes up in an absolute different world, I'm sure that we will remember some of the best moments we've had together. Don't look back in anger. March forward <3

A Match Made in Heaven

2011-03-22T11:23:00.001+08:00

...yang dikatakan JODOH itu apabila anda TIDAK BOLEH LARI daripadnya.

Contoh:

Kete dia : 7852 /White / Made in Japan
Kete aku: 7752 /White / 13% Made in Japan

Suratan atau Kebetulan?

P/s* In my head only lah der!

Karipap For Breakfast

2011-03-17T14:44:00.003+08:00

Nyum2. I remember when I was small I ate karipap but I threw away the filling. Makan kulit je. Today during breakfast I did the same thing. Kenyangnya! Perlu ke makan? Bila hari2 free xde ape nk buat rase cm the world isnt moving. But by doing nothing I actually do myself a favour. Rilex kn badan dan fikiran. But somehow my mind is so active that I can't stop thinking. Itu yg kdg2 fikir bkn2.

Imagination.
Often I find myself letting my imagination run wild. Well it's only through imagination, I can HAVE everything I want. Taylor Lautner, someone else's husband, Zen's kondo, etc etc.

P/s * If u are a career woman/man, in 50 words, let me knw how does your career contribute to our nation building. GO!

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

2011-03-12T11:30:00.000+08:00

Well, that song is something to remember with a smile on my face :)

* We're slow dancing in a burning room...*

Yesternite, I realized that I am not ready to let go of something significant in my life. At least, not that way.

Waited till 1 in the morning to hear that you are okay. Thank god u are.

Hari Bersamanya (Shela on 7)
Hari telah terganti
Tak bisa ku hindari
Tibalah saat ini bertemu dengannya
Jantungku berdegup cepat
Kaki bergetar hebat
Akankah aku ulangi merusak harinya

Mohon Tuhan
Untuk kali ini saja
Beri aku kekuatan
'Tuk menatap matanya

Mohon Tuhan
Untuk kali ini saja
Lancarkanlah hariku
Hariku bersamanya
Hariku bersamanya
Kau tahu betapa aku
Lemah dihadapannya
Kau tahu berapa lama
Aku mendambakannya

Tuhan tolonglah (beri kesempatan)

*p/s* poyo poyoh ;p

Lepat Labu

2011-02-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

Disebabkan homesick tak pasal-pasal hari ni aku buat lepat labu. The last time aku buat mase aku kat Oz dl. Setahun yg lepas. Sedap okay. Favourite.

Bila aku view blog aku tadi, teringat dulu2 aku started blogging sb aku putus cinta. So I named this blog tuRmoiL. Skang tadela rase bitter dh sb putus cinta. Alhamdulillah. Adalah terfikir nk tukar nama blog ni. Tapi tak jumpa nama paling secocok. tuRmoil cambest je. Simple tp maksud dia mendalam jugak. Macam aku je.

Eh skang org sibuk nk pilihanraya kecil sana sini. DS Najib selalu la kuar TV. Dari dulu dia ni hardworking betul. Aku suke beliau. Selama aku hidup, PM yg aku plg suke adalah Tun Dr M. Lepas Tun, DS Najib yg plg aku suke. Despite of all controversies he was involved in, I truly admire his leadership. He's brilliant and very hardworking. Kadang2 aku terfikir, berapa jam la dia tdo sehari ye?

7 Mac ni genap la sebulan aku jd seorang 'GURU'. When days are getting tough, aku akan selalu igtkan diri aku, how lucky I am compared to some kids I teach. Hopefully dorang akan dpt dibentuk jd manusia yang baik2. Amin.

P/S * I'm almost there. Saat2 yg aku tunggu hampir tiba. Lama oi aku tunggu. Saat2 untuk mendapatkan kepastian. Bile berkaitan dgn soal hati, kenelah berhati2. Ye dok?

Young & 25

2011-01-31T11:28:00.002+08:00

The coach is leaving soon. My bro left already. He said he can't wait any longer coz he's famish. Deng. Siot btl.

Was home 1mth +. Was bored @first few weeks but now I'm so heavy hearted to leave. Going to miss little2 details about mum, my sis, bros and Minah and her two kids; Oyen& Omei. Minah is a cat btw. My sis' cat. I hate her @first but now she's one of my favs. Weird rite.

Mum sang me birthday song last nite. Both english and malay versions. She even baked a cake this morning. Sweet! The awesomeST part is that when all the birthday presents my family gave me are in the form of cash. Haha. I shove all of them off. LOL. Nt dpt gaji I blanje korang blik ok? :D

I had this routine of going to my mum's room after I woke up early in the morning. Jumped onto her 'single' bed and got into her blanket. Sambung tdo. She's warm and has this baby-like smell. Mum's so adorable. Lemah lembut. Bila la aku nk jd cmtukan. Sigh. But she has this weird accent and we like to tease her. Haha. She was raised in a rural place called Selama (pardon me TA :p). Sb tula kot. Duduk kt Ipoh for years pn she stays with her accent. LoL.

My little bro is Form 5 this year. Not so little anymore. Diam2 rupanya sibuk bercinta dgn a girl one year older than him. It turns out that the girl is my friend's little sis. KANTOI. Mum,my sis, bros and I, we like to tease my little bro. We sometimes made up conversations konon2 we r hs gf. Haha. My mum 'Abg, mandi cpt skt. Dh lewat nk pg skolah ni. Dgrla ckp syg.' Lol. My bro will blush. Haha. Budak2 skg. Gatai.

Rindu plak zaman2 skolah dl. Zaman ada peminat2 dan minat2 kt org. Buat aku tersenyum.

I'm 25 and getting younger. Tak percaya? Told you I'm working with kids ma.

P/S* Happy CNY! Happy hols!

Sugar & Spice

2011-01-27T23:19:00.002+08:00

Hari ni bahagia.
Esok lusa tak tau lagi.
Tapi malam ni boleh tido sambil tersenyum :)

Terima kasih Tuhan, untuk dia dan untuk cinta ini.

Oyasumi!

WRONG WAY! TURN BACK!

2011-01-26T07:43:00.001+08:00

Too often when I look back at those silly mistakes I made I will go
'What is wrong with me?'
'What was I thinking?'
'How can I do that?'
'How stupid!'
'Why?!'
'Die lah!'
etc etc

If I can turn back time..THERES NO WAY IN HELL we can turn back time. But we can try to change and improve ourselves to become better persons.

God is SUPER forgiving. People might not forget the mistakes you've made and judge you for that but HE forgives you everytime you ask for his forgiveness. IT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

Sekian saje kuliah subuh saya. Wassalam :3

P/s* Selalu cuba jd pemaaf tp bosan ble asik kene maafkan kesalahan yg sama dari org yg sama. The word 'maaf' 'sorry' dh jd meaningless. Only fools repeat the same mistake over and over again. Are u?

PMS

2011-01-24T23:04:00.002+08:00

The drugs are kicking in. Tdo dgn trilogy mlm ini: demam, kaki sakit, gg bongsu yg skt. Ignoring suara2 sumbang yg xingin didengar. Deleting msg2 xpntg dr org2 xpenting without even reading 'em. If i gado dgn idiots I'll become one of them. Xmau mcm itu. I'm a teacher and I'll act like one. Now am thinking about the people I love. Better.

To bed, to bed. Thou (generally) shall not disturb my slumber.

P/s* sedihnya benji dlm AD td. Heartbroken. Ok.aku PMS skg. Tangkap syahdu.

Hidup Baru (Part II)

2011-01-24T20:44:00.002+08:00

Aku pn dh pndai bt partI partII skg. Blajaq dr sape lg kalo bkn dr penulis hernameisaziah.blogspot.com. Toin! Toin!

Tadi pg x-ray kaki ku (sampai 2x kene x-ray ok) xde yg pth atau retak. 'Tendon' ku aje yg tercedera. Soft tissue injury omputeh kate. Pttla berdenyut2 xhlg2. Huhu. Demam okay.

Dr: Demam eh?
Aku: Takdelah. (Siap geleng2 kepala lg. Positive)
Dr: Tgk ni suhu kamu tinggi. Kamu demam la.
Aku: * Terpinga2

Ayoyo aku rase aku terlalu suke pikir positive smpai bile dmam pn rase xdmam. Makanan basi pn rasa xbasi. Org jahat pn nampak baik je. Ni mslh gak ni.

* Ni tade kaitan dgn yg di atas - Dl ko pnh bce one of my posts then you said you won't bug me anymore. So now what? Bikin serupa cakapla der. Walk the talk. Tgk, finally aku tpksa block ko dr fb page aku. Thought i will never have to do that.

P/s I* Awan Dania dh nk start. Telatah Dania makes me happy. Kau ada? Haremmm

P/s II* I miss my roomie (since sngor--> johor jauh kan). She always knew when I ate makanan basi.

Hidup Baru

2011-01-24T16:13:00.001+08:00

Teka aku kt mane? HOSPITAL!
Kenape?
Kaki aku...mungkin patah, retak atau mengalami soft tissue injury atau sbnrnya tergeliat je. Same2 tgu jwpnnya. Ada lg 8 org b4 giliran aku.

Hari ni bdk2 b.ed tesl ipba digemparkan dgn berita posting masing2. Syukur aku dpt Selangor. Jodoh aku dgn Selangor msh kuat (Read between the lines.lol). Kwn2 yg xdpt tmpt plhan tu bsabo la ye. God knws the best. Btw, jgn lupa berterima kasih pd DIA dan pd pegawai2 yg terlibat. Jgnla tau maki hamun je.xelok tu. Harus tahu berterima kasih.

P/s* Tolongla jgn kacau aku lg si budak hitam. Sblm aku btambah meluat. Sekian.

Back to the Future

2011-01-21T14:22:00.001+08:00

Mase depan. 2 perkataan je tp boleh bt minda kite merewang jauh entah ke mane.

Close your eyes for a minute. Try to picture who you'll become in 2-3 years time.

.......
*An awesome teacher
*A diligent part time post grad student
*A successful takaful agent
.......

Insyaallah.
Dlm kepala ni ada plan nk bt biz venture dgn close frens frm SERATAS. Usul akan dibincangkn mse bcuti kt pangkor nt. Tp xtaula nk biz ape. Blum research lg. Sape ada idea best? Sila pm aku.

P/s* February's coming soon. I'm gona miss having mum by my side 24/7. Tp still excited nk start my career :)

Kisah Sang Ubi Keledek

2011-01-10T16:02:00.003+08:00

Dang it! Smlm wrote this post ble published hlg cmtu je. Some tech errors I guess.

I was writing about how stupid I was sb igtkn pokok UBI KELEDEK dgn pokok UBI KAYU tu sama. Tp smlm lepas mak tunjuk pokok ubi keledek xsangka mcm itu rupanya. LOL.

Dh start bosan2 tgu posting ni. Nk pg jalan2 bt outdoor activities tp cuaca yg rupe ini mana bisa. Aigoo. Nak sgt pg camping. Patut ke aku serah diri kt kem PLKN???

P/S* I knw u learn engineering my dear. Great stuff. But it doesn't mean that u don't have to learn this thing called 'MANNERS'. A man is not a man without it.

Beautiful Monster

2011-01-06T00:44:00.001+08:00

I did some homework on...MYSELF. Byk sgt mase free kn. Guess what I found out about myself?

1. Jessica Alba is still hot. Demmit. Takde kaitan, I knw. Proceed to No.2.

2. I am into quiet guys. Yes, QUIET. Mr. Chatterbox-es are good friends but the quiet ones are MINE. (should have said 'one' bt im greedy this time :D)

3.Looks does matter to me. Beauty is subjective but there's a starting point to it. Mine is hmmm...something like Rain! LOL. Maybe si Dodo. Starting point je. Lebeh up lebeh baik.haha. Mcm la kau (aku la tu) lawa sgt kn :p

5. I love myself. Or at least I'm trying to focus on loving myself more than loving anyone else. Ni hasil tgk channel TLC td la ni. AWESOME.

P/s * Tade p.s kali ni. Kau ada?

A Happy Ending

2010-12-31T22:42:00.001+08:00

Hari ni 2nd time ada pengamal perubatan tradisional (aku xske guna pkataan 'bomoh') dtg kt rmh, berubat. Jumpa lg 1 'bende' org tanam kt kwsn rmh nenek aku. Hari tu dh jmp 1. Aduh org Melayu ni suke btl berhasad dengki.bwk2 la bertaubat.
Ssh nk pcaya ada org cmni. Aku xsuke nk bersangka2 buruk kt org tp ble bende dh dpn mata aduiyai. Sedeh hatiku dgn mentaliti saudara2 seagama ku ini.

Well tu intro je tu, not the main point lg. Smlm aku tlh menyaksikan betapa besarnya kuasa Tuhan. Sekelip mata saje doa aku dimakbulkan. Subhanallah! Kwn2 ku sekalian, ketika bdoa kpdNYA, yakinlah dgn sepenuh ht bhw Dia Maha Mendengar. Bagus kalo selalu amalkn Al-Ma'thurat. Ia dpt ubatkn hati yg resah,hlgkn kemarahan & yg plg pntg dktkn diri kte dgn Allah.

Tgl kurang 2jam lg b4 thn bru msk. Ada beberapa sb buatkn aku xsbr2 tgu 2011 ni (biarlah rahsia :D). Tp i dnt expect a happily ever after 2011 la kn. Hdup mane dpt kalo nk sng je. Anyway aku mgharapkn yg baik2 je utk thn dpn.

P/s* Berdebaq tgu posting ni. Pls la dpt tmpt yg awesome. Amin...

Dia di Hati

2010-12-28T22:45:00.000+08:00

Ptg td gotong-royong dgn adik & kak long bt kueh gunting. Dh lama xmkn.teringin plak.

Dl mase aku kck2 dl, mse mak&abah baru separated, mak suffered frm depression. Byk kali jgk mak was not home for raya sb she went for treatment. But we were lucky sb mse tu arwah Tok ada for us. 2 3 hari b4 raya aku ngn Tok sibuk bt kueh gunting. Adik kck lg time tu. Sibuk je dia nk mengacau. Well, mak yg slalu handle bt kueh raya ni. Aku ngn Tok xtau sgt. Ktorang taram je. Hehe. Tp last2 jd jgk.

Tok was always there for us dl. Tak tau ape jd kt ktorg kalo Tok xde dl. Aku xpnh bpsah lama2 dgn Tok, except for the fact that aku sek kt asrama and pg oz 2 thn tu.

Al-Fatihah buat arwah Tok. Dia dlm hati aku sampai bile2 pn.

Adore Vs Detest

2010-12-21T12:17:00.000+08:00

There's this saying 'put friendship first to make it last'. I guess whoever said this was wrong.

6 Dec - That was the last time I remember having heard from you. It has been two weeks. Technology doesn't seem to connect us anymore, so I tried the old-fashioned snail mail. It still didn't work. That's all for the time being.I am tired. I am just going to quit trying.

December is just not my fav month of the year. Keep losing the ones I love in December. It has been a year since gram's gone. My relationship ended in December. My phone was snatched in December. A rainy month, it is indeed.

I still have a long hols. I prefer to stay in KL and work but since mum wants her baby back home, I'll make my way home. Bak kate abg2ku 'Ala..keje pun ko bukannye boleh kaya pun. Balik jela.' Siot je dorang ni. Maybe that's the way they say 'We miss you baby sista'. Rite bros, I miss u guys too. There's nothing left for me here pun. Counting days to be home and disconnected!

2011, I welcome you. May you bring lotsa better things.(Ceh padahal dah Muharram 1432H).

p/s* It's hard hanging out with someone whom you know for sure likes you in a romantic way. Harder to pretend that you don't know how the person feels about you. And then the hardest thing to do is to politely say no to someone like that without hurting the person's feelings.

-you don't know me well enough to judge me, so don't!-

Leave Me Alone

2010-12-13T23:26:00.004+08:00

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Antara org2 yg prihatin and tny aku delete FB acc aku ke? Oh TIDAK. Aku cuma deactivate FB acc aku temporarily. Looking for a peace of mind.

Just got back from a short trip. Had fun stargazing @the beach. Not so many stars though. They went hiding kot. But enough to give me some new hopes =)

After jalan2 cari ketenangan aku pun buat beberapa kesimpulan.
Life - as we know it mmgla complicated. Hidup kalo cari reasons to be sad/miserable mmg byk.
CONTOHNYE:

- umo dah nk masuk 25 tp masih blum jumpa a perfect match lg
- My crush doesn't know that I have a crush on him
- best fren ku off the radar lg - msg&kol aku berbakul2 dia tak reply dah berhari2
- I quit befriending a person (finally)

TAPI sebenarnya ada macam2 reasons utk jadi HAPPY.
CONTOHNYE:
+ Aku masih muda
+ An unfulfilled love is romantic
+ She needs some times away kot. Just like me. Bile tgh serabut tak nak org disturb. (But what is best friend for then?)
+ I still have a lot more of good and sincere friends, haven't I? This one is not worth keeping.

p/s: If you cant be happy on your own, don't drag me into your misery. OH PLEASE, leave me alone!!!

3 Malam

2010-12-07T21:49:00.002+08:00

3 mlm ku mencarimu
3 mlm hati ku sunyi
di manakah dikau syg....

aigooo.where art thou???
aku gag bisa seperti ini dong!!!

Three Six Five

2010-12-01T14:33:00.002+08:00

It has been a year since I got back from Oz.
Sambil duduk2 menikmati hari cuti yg indah ini, aku muhasabah diri.
Selepas setahun, ape perubahan positive yg aku dh buat? To myself and others?

Wahhh rasa cam sikit je perubahan positive dlm diri sendiri. sob sob =(

Aku masih mencari kebahagiaan!

Talking to The Man in The Mirror

2010-11-21T01:08:00.002+08:00

NO, you don't to have to know my feelings for you because it's EXCLUSIVE.

Only time will tell because I won't.

Let Me Go Home...

2010-11-01T18:25:00.002+08:00

It was my first time and I would like to describe it as awkward.

It was the moment when I realised I have so many doubts about it. Was it what I really wanted?

It felt right at first then it felt wrong, then it felt right again and these uncertainties continue up till now. Why can't I make up my mind?

But then I start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I see my way back home.
I want to be home because it is the only place where everything is real for me.
Hopefully mum will kick some senses into me.

Maybe what I really needed right now is freedom.
To set my body and soul free because this is the only time when they do not belong to anyone except me myself (and of course GOD).

I've been traveling on this road too long
Just trying to find my way back home
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone

Let's Do This!

2010-10-28T23:01:00.007+08:00

Am I supposed to put my life on hold
because you don't know how to act
and you don't know where your life is going?
Am I supposed to be torn apart
broken hearted in a corner crying?
Pardon me if I don't show it
I don't care if i never see you again
I'll be all right.
Take this final piece of advice
and get yourself together,
but either way baby I'M GONE.

While im writing this post, I am thinking of the best way to perform a goodbye ritual. Well this is not just anyone, this is someone i used to love for more than 5 effin' years. Plus, Im too good with memories. Little2 things can bring me down the memory lane.

What about burning old love letters and photos?
Returning the gifts I can't bear keeping?
Sound awesome!

As I'm closing the old chapter of my life, the new one is opening.
It is opening so fast that the moment i fear the most
is almost happening ----> MEETING the PARENTS!
It seems that some other parents are going to get an opportunity to judge THIS product of a single parent.
I hope I'll make mum proud! It all depends on me. Oh GOD (0_O)
Can I take mum with me???

p/s* Among of the things I've learned about love is that too much and too little is not good. Be moderate.

"Barangkali kamu menyukai sesuatu tetapi sesuatu itu tidak baik bagi kamu. Dan barangkali kamu membenci sesuatu, tetapi sesuatu itu baik bagi kamu'

Drug! That's what it is.

2010-10-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

Addicted to this song - One In A Million by Neyo

The moves are awesome! But in real life I won't fall for that kind of guy la of course. Gedik gile. haha.

Watched 'Life as We Know It' @Cathay The Curve td. Awesome. Lebeh awesome lg bile pg lambat pun still ade tix. Tak macam Midvalley!

Biar Akhirnya di Sini

2010-10-19T13:01:00.002+08:00

Wahsaiii... each day ade je post baru ye? Sini jela tempat aku nak campakkan turmoil2 yg ada. Kalo aku bottle it up boleh jd gilor aku kan.

Serabutnya otak skg ni. What have i got myself into? troubles! tp aku nk lihat apa yg jd ni dr sudut yg positive skt. tuhan sedang menguji aku sb DIA sygkan aku. kan? kan?

Hmm. Ada org asik nk berbicara pasal cinta, syg dgn aku. Berhujah ttg betapa hebat dan ikhlasnya cinta dia. Aku diam bukan bermakna aku tunduk dgn hujah2 tu. Aku diam sb aku rasa fikiran beliau terlalu cetek.

Kau berbicara pasal cinta. Ko sure ko betul2 tahu ape itu cinta? Apa yg aku belajar dr pengalaman2 lepas, cinta yg sebenar2 cinta tu bila

....kau sanggup berkorban untk org yg kau sayang
....kau sanggup bahagiakan dia dengan apa cara sekalipun, meskipun melepaskan dia pergi.

cinta ni tak boleh dipaksa. kau boleh cuba tp tak boleh paksa. kalo ko paksa makin lama cinta tu makin hilang. ko paham tak? (ayat fav shela ;p)

Neway, dr pengalaman2 cinta aku yang lepas (yang GAGAL), byk yg aku belajar. Ni tips2 aku dlm mencari pasangan hidup.

1. tak perlu la yg ensem2 sgt. Cukuplah kalo sekadar sedap mata memandang. Penting utk cari yg bila korang pandang, hati korang jd tenang. kalo pandang2 je jadi serabut, jangan!

2. cari org yg sesuai ngn korang. contohnya kalo aku, aku tak boleh dgn org yg smoke. so elakkan la lelaki2 yg smoke. Janganla pulak nt cari yg smoke pastu suruh dia quit utk korang. dream on.

3. penting untuk korang terima si dia seadanya. Jgnla byk demanding sgt nt kasi pressure plak. korang pun bukan perfect sgt kan (ni a reminder utk diri aku gak ;p)

4. plg penting cari yg direstui keluarga. kalo dia asik nk menangkan mak dia je susah la jugak. kan.

Ok sekian. harap maklum.

Kotak - Pelan-Pelan Saja

Ku tahu kamu pasti rasa
apa yang ku rasa
ku tahu cepat atau lambat
kamu kan mengerti

Hati bila dipaksakan
pasti takkan baik
pantasnya kamu mencintai
yang juga cintai dirimu
cuma kamu

Lepaskanlah ikatanmu dengan aku
biar kamu senang
bila berat melupakan aku
pelan-pelan saja

Tak ada niat menyakiti
inilah hatiku
pantasnya kamu mencintai
yang juga cintai dirimu
cuma kamu

Pelan-pelan saja
Pelan-pelan saja
(lepaskan aku, lepaskan aku, lepaskan aku)
Pelan-pelan saja

Tipah Tak Tertipu!!!

2010-10-17T18:05:00.005+08:00

Terbaca satu article kat FB tadi - Apa itu cinta. Wow. awesome. insaf terus jiwaku yg jahil ini.

Aku mau cinta yg halal. Dengan erti kata yg lain bercinta selepas kahwin. Speaking from experiences, dah ada macam2 evidences yg buktikan cinta selain cinta yg halal tu memdatangkan byk kemudaratan. Banyak cinta yg menjurus ke arah kemaksiatan. Ada pula yg sampai menyebabkan kematian (both jasad & jiwa), ada yg telah rosakkan persahabatan dan macam2 lagi lah.

Syukur sangat Tuhan telah menyedarkan aku dari terus hanyut dgn godaan dunia yg sangat fana ni. Aku tadelah baik sangat kan. Tapi skg ni bila terasa insaf ni, aku nk ikut jalan yg lurus, yang benar. Manusia kan, selalu lalai kalau tak diingatkan.

Sebut pasal ingt meningatkan ni, buatkan aku terkenangkan seorang sahabat aku ni. Sekali dia tegur perghhh menusuk kalbu. Tp teguran2 dia byk yg btl and boleh pakai. Aku ada ramai sangat kawan tp hanya ada beberapa org sahabat je. Ada jugak yg aku anggap sahabat tp pada matanya aku ni hanyalah kawan. Sedeh? Hmm sikitla tp mungkin ini balasan Tuhan pada aku sb ada org lain yg anggap aku sahabat tp aku anggap dia kawan je. What u give u'll get back. itu sudah pasti. Setiap persahabatan yg akrab itu pasti akan diuji and ketika ujian tu dtg, camne kite handle ujian tu akan menunjukkan sekuat mana kita pegang tali persahabatan tu. Kalo kita gelabah dan melatah, habislah.

Baru hari ini aku dapat merasakan bahawa hati aku adalah milik aku. Bukan milik dia atau kamu. Jadi aku nk jaga hati aku ni elok2. Aku nk cuba bersihkan hati aku yg dah kotor ni.

Dan kepada lelaki2 ajnabi sekalian, kau harus tahu, apa yang aku mahukan sekarang adalah cinta yang halal, yang hanya akan bermula selepas perkahwinan. Kalo cinta sekadar cinta yg ingin engkau berikan sekarang, maaf, aku takkan dapat membalasnya, sampai bila-bila pun.

Dari Tuhan kita datang dan kepadaNYA kita kembali. Jadi cinta yg ada dlm hati kita ni hanyalah milik DIA semata2. Jangan khuatir, jgan melatah, setiap manusia itu dijadikan berpasang-pasangan. Sejak azali lagi DIA dah ttpkan jodoh untuk kita. Hanya DIA yg tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita.

Kesimpulannya, AKU NK KAHWIN! Ada tak SAPA@ YG NK KAHWIN NGN AKU? Kalo stakat nk buat aku AWEK je tak perlu la bincangkan kot? ;p

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Mommy's Little Girl

2010-10-11T15:04:00.006+08:00

Dulu kecik2 kalo tak dapat benda yg aku nak, aku akan cranky. muncung cencurut sume siap sampaila aku dpt apa yg aku nak. Skang ni aku ade perasaan seperti itu. Grrrrr!!!

Mungkin ini masanya utk aku belajar menerima kekalahan. Belajar menghadapi kekecewaan dgn tabah dan tenang. Dah cuba bertahan tapi tak berjaya. Lepaskanlah. Oh hati, lepaskan dia pergi. Jangan ada tinggal sisa2 lagi. Amin.

It tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

What Do You Want From Me?

2010-10-11T01:11:00.002+08:00

My heart is so fickle that I dont even know what do I want right now.

Oh people stop judging. If I dont even know what do I want, how can you tell?

Tuhan, tetapkanlah hati ini. Bila seringkali diuji kadang2 hambamu ini rapuh hatinya.

Semoga aku, dia dan kamu mendapatkan apa yg diinginkan. Kita mmg tak punya jalan keluar tp DIA sentiasa ada jalan utk kita.

Anak Bulan

2010-09-23T14:56:00.003+08:00

Aku dah nampak dah apa aku nak buat lepas 2 3 tahun mengajar. Ayuh! Mari mencucuk bintang! Nantikan kemunculan Yasmin Ahmad Jr. Insyaallah.

Alhamdulillah, 'rezeki' (bukan money/material tp benda lain) menjadi2 plak skg. Tuhan cam nk hint2 kt aku, betullah apa yg aku dah buat Khamis lepas. Satu hilang byk lagi menanti. Jodoh tu rahsia Tuhan. Tak mau tergopoh-gapah.

Life's much happier. Alhamdulillah. Ni bukan nk sedapkan hati je. Tp betul2 happy ni :)

Momentos

2010-08-25T20:05:00.002+08:00

Hari ini bukak puasa sorang2 kat bilik. Syahdu la plak kan. Tetibe teringat pada arwah nenek. Tahun ni first time beraya kt umah since the last two years. Apalah meriahnye raya kalo tade nenek. Aisehh. Air mata bergenang siap sedia nk luruh dah ni. Tebayang2 wajah nenek pada hari-hari terakhir beliau bersama daku. Short and sweet. I wished I had more time to talk to her, to tell her how much she is loved. She held me tight the night before she left us. I can still feel her in my every vein. God I miss her. I MISS HER.

I closed the Door, HE knocks It Open

2010-08-15T23:11:00.003+08:00

In my dream, u came when i was asleep and whispered to me that you are sorry. In reality, even if you never say those three words, i still forgive you because Ramadan is the time to sincerely forgive and forget.Believe me, HE never knocks the wrong door. Even if it means I will have to swallow my ego, HE knows the best.

This quiet and tranquil night brings back an old memory. Even if it did not last, I still remember how it started.

Teruskanlah

2010-07-01T15:25:00.002+08:00

Pernahkan anda merasa sangat bahagia (walaupun sekejap je) sehingga anda merasakan yang anda tidak layak untuk meminta apa2 lagi? Bersyukurlah kerana dalam setiap kesulitan Dia berikan kebahagiaan dan rasa kecukupan yang tidak terhingga.

Pernahkah anda membuat satu keputusan yang sukar dan akhirnya menyedari itulah keputusan yang paling baik anda pernah lakukan? Walaupun pada zahirnya orang lain melihat itu bukanlah yang terbaik? Bersyukurlah kerana Dia telah memberi anda kekuatan untuk membuat keputusan tersebut.

Kerana dalam hidup ini, adalah lebih penting untuk MERASA bahagia daripada MEMPAMERKAN kebahagiaan semata-mata.

p/s* to whom it may concern - congrats for the job offer. Wish u all the best in your future undertakings.

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Jangan Pandang Belakang

2010-06-24T10:14:00.002+08:00

After six months, I can finally let her go. No more crying at nite because of missing her. Dwelled in too much in sadness of losing her - lost focus in what I did. It's time to let her rest in a total peace, and it's time for me to move on with my life. I believe this is what she would have wanted. It won't be long till I meet u up there, love. I love you - always have, always will.

More than words

2010-06-16T22:22:00.006+08:00

Yang tulus ikhlas
Ingin sekali sekala dirinya dibalas
Walau hanya dengan dakapan di angin lalu

Yang selalu memberi
Ingin sekali sekala jadi penerima
Cukup dengan salam dan manis doa

Selamat ulang tahun sayang
Kini kau bersayap, pergilah terbang
Rentaslah langit cita cita mu
Harap nanti kita 'kan bertemu

For what it's worth, Happy Birthday to both of my favourite persons. The last time I checked, we were still good together :)

The Resume

2010-06-15T14:47:00.004+08:00

Dah siap2 nk kuar ni skali kunci umah tade plak. Kenela tunggu kak yati balik. Huhu. Aku terkunci dlm umah. Deng.

Semalam tolong Mr. H complete his resume dgn career objective -nye. Sebelum ni pun tlg beliau editkan resume tersebut. Nak apply keje katenya. Sbgai Ms. H aku pun cubala jd supportive. Tapi tetibe aku terpikir, kalo Mr. H dpt keje ni nt dia akan extend his stay kat negara matahari terbit tu setahun dua lg.

"I am helping you to get us apart frm each other. Oh NoOOOOOooo"

Tetiba aku menjadi emo. Sobbing. Sob sob. Inikah yg dikatakan berkorban utk org yg dicintai?
Aku pernah bagitau Mr. H, "I love you enough to let you go." Hanya masa je yg dpt membuktikan sejauh mana aku bersungguh2 dgn apa yg aku katakan tu...

...dan lagu Slow Goodbye by Lesley Roy pun terus bermain dgn on repeat mode kt playlist aku. (>_<)

A Wish Upon A Star

2010-06-05T21:45:00.002+08:00

Semua orang sukakan perhatian, aku pun. Tapi ada masa2 aku berharap (especially masa2 cam skg) utk jd INVISIBLE walaupun sekejap.

*KeBOM!* wish granted ----> dream on!!! (>.<)

Masalah takkan settle kalo kite lari drnye. Face it. Huh. Macam2 kebabom ujian dan rintangan melanda sejak 6 bulan aku balik ke Malaysia ni. Sabar jela. Kalo Tuhan kerap uji kita tu, maknanya, Dia care & sygkan kite, kan? Tp kalo bukan sebab kesedihan yg melanda tu, kita takkan dpt kenal erti kebahagian. Contohnye cam skg, aku bahagia sb best friend aku dh balik. Yeay! The other half of me is back :)

p/s**** teringin nk pergi atas bukit mane2 pastu menjerit and meraung kuat2. Biar lepas sume beban di dada. Ada sapa2 nk ikut?JOM!

Looking into the Mirror

2010-04-16T23:33:00.002+08:00

Dah lama nk mengupdate blog ni tapi tak terupdate2. one thing yg aku perasan pasal diri aku skg adelah aku suke menangguh2 keje. ape nk jd ni.ish2. mungkin motivation dh low giler. cepatla habis next week sb the week after that nak balik rumah, recharge. maybe setelah menatap wajah bonda dan kekakanda2 ku akan bertambah bersemangat.insyaallah. Jelesnye dgn iner sb every week bleh balik. deng. now im the green-eyed monster.LOL

Mlm smlm, for the 1st time of my life, aku amik 2 bijik pil tdo sb takle tdo sesangat. Dah kul 4.am tp mate tak mau tutup2. sbgai hasilnye pagi ni bgn mata sembab cam separa terbuka. pergi kelas td member tgr ckp muka aku muka toya mengantuk giler. tp rupanye sb mateku bengkak n sembab. ayoyo. mata kuyu tak bleh blah. Tp syok la 30mins after telan pil tersebut tak sedar lgsg. heaven! tapi ni tak bererti aku akan amik lg okkk.

ckp pasal tdo ni, aku kalo tensen or ade bende yg aku nk avoid pikir aku akan avoid dgn menidurkan diri. aku tak suke tdo siang tp kalo korang nampak aku tdo tu adela bende yg aku tensen tu. hehe. alasan? LOL. tp btla lately asik PMS je. aku pun tak tau nape. habis dgn sume org aku bercakaran. even with the closed ones. tetibe aku jd impulsive and tanpa berlapik2 lg terus voice out aku nye dissatisfaction. aku tak suke mengutuk org tapi aku cam dh pandai nk cari flaw org lain plak skg. kalo mak aku tau ni mesti dia sedeh. dia role model aku. dia tak suke kutuk2 org ni.
lately aku cam jd super emo plak. it seems like i've lost my cool. deng.

Aku dlm proses utk memaafkan diri aku sendiri. Low motivation. low self-esteem. low self-confidence. low income (haha budget cam dh keje). so kwn2 korang pun kene maafkan aku eh. thn ni adalah the 1st year since aku lost my dad n my grandma. rase cam kecik nye diri ini. vulnerable nye daku. Lost jugak. rase cam tade benda kuat nk hold on to (except agamaku). Kalo nenek aku ade dl, she was like my everything, well aside frm mum. Mungkin some people tak phm kenapa la aku nk rase lost2 plak ni. korang bygkan, last year je aku hilang combo terbesar dlm hidup aku. org yg tak rase mungkin takkan faham sampai bila2 pun. wait your turn (oh ni fav no aku dlm album Rihanna, Rated R).

Kenapa aku cakap my grandma was my everything.

First, she was my alarm clock. lepas subuh jgn harap utk tdo balik.

she was my curfew - kalo kt umah, kene balik the latest by 7pm before azan. skg balik kul bape pun rilex je. mak cool je asalkan dia tau aku g mane.

she was my reminder. kalo aku kt KL ni tak g jenguk makcu, pak uda, maklong, makAndak, kak ros etc etc siapla aku kene lecture. tp skg ni tade sape pun nk kecoh2 aku tak visit sedara mara kt sini.

she was my banker as well. heh. tp ni bukanla part yg plg aku rindukan. sb bile dh besar dh pandai dh cari duit sendiri. dl nk duit mintak je tanpa berfikir panjang. skg lu pikir la sendiri bak kate nabil.

tp yesh, almost every nite bile nk pejam kan mate ternampak wajah nenda ku ni. semoga rohnye dicucuri rahmat. Aku rindu saat2 adanye dia. She was like a place to go back each time i think i was lost, metaphorically.

Sometimes I hate who I used to be and at times I hate who I have become. I miss the time when I was so positive and optimistic about life. Well that time might come again when I'm done looking into the mirror, reflecting.

"DREAM MAKES ALL THINGS POSSIBLE, HOPE MAKES ALL THINGS WORK, LOVE MAKES ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL, SMILE MAKES ALL THE ABOVE WORK POSSIBLE" (quoted frm Zed Zaidi's blog ;)

Enough.

2010-03-19T13:01:00.003+08:00

Dear Nisa,

Get back on track. Focus. Your future depends on you. Get back up! Stick to your aims.

Lagu ini bukan di radio setiap hari untukmu
Lagu ini tidak perlu kau kembali kepadaku
Lagu ini hanya ingin kau fahami ku sudah teruskan hidupku
Semuanya cun saja

Tak perlu tinggalkan pesanan
Tak perlu buat panggilan
Ku tak perlu lagi kalau kau cuba mintak maaf
Lupakan sahaja
Diriku cun saja

Duduk di rumah seorang saja
Menulis lagu cinta
Menggunakan kisah ini tuk ceritakan

Duduk di rumah seorang saja
Mengarang lagu cinta
Dengan mengembalikan kisah kitakan tapi jangan perasaan
Ohh..

-cun saja by sleeq-

The WAR is on, BITCH!

2010-03-05T02:45:00.003+08:00

Kalo ko yg tak dpat tepati janji, jgnla nk salahkan org lain pulak. Kalo dah tau buat salah, tak reti2 nk mintak maaf. Itu pun mau ajar ka? Mane ketua ko? suruh dia ajar ko some manners skt. Aku kalo tak puas hati cakap depan2 je, tadela simpan dlm hati ke, dlm BLOG ke... kan?

Business is what you're asking for, business is what you get. Want to do business with me? Let's do it the right way. Buat akujanji. Lepas tu pandai2 la tepati janji ye. Busy? Ish mase terdesak satu Malaya leh ko kol, ade pulak mase ye? Waktu ko harus tepati janji ko main2 je. Ape? panjang ctenye? cut short babe! Tell me the part where you DIDN'T LIE. Cut all the bullshit! Bohong la kau sebanyak mane kau nak, tp you know what, at the end the truth will come out and haunt you down.

Agak2 bile ko dh kaya nt, duit berlambak2 ko tu boleh ke beli balik friendship yg dh tercalar balar ni? Lu pikir lah sendiri.

*** Kalo nk blajar something tu, belajar la btl2. nt yg dikejar tak dpt, yg dikendong berciciran. Nk bisnes boleh. Tp biar berlandaskan syarak dan tatatertib Islam.kan kan? penuh hemah. Perlu ke sakitkan hati org lain semata2 nk sngkan hati sendiri? Ish pandai2 je ko ni.

Buat baik berpada2, buat jahat jgn sekali, tapi berkali2. Biar sume org benci pastu idup la sorang diri.

Kalo ada jarum yg patah jgn disimpan di dlm peti,
kalo anda ada rasa nk diluah jangan disimpan di dlm hati, mari ke mari dial 0129033954 ini.

Yours truly,
org bisnes jugak

All's Well That Ends Well

2009-10-17T11:24:00.002+08:00

I've made the right decision. We've made the right decision.
If our love is in the colour of white, we have saved it from being tainted by other colours.

You,
Calm me down whenever im nervous,
Remind me whenever I've forgotten.

and for that,
i love you.

Thank you. You complete me.

Durian Oh Duriannn

2009-08-13T10:58:00.002+08:00

Ok this may sound pathetic to those yg ade kat Malaysia, tp I'm super duper happy sb dpt beli durian td!!! Dah almost 2 years okay tak menjamah my fav fruit tu. kul 6pm ni ade kelas so takle makan lg. kang bau satu kelas lak bile burp. lol. tak sabar nk makan ni.

Ok, roti canai dh dpat, karipap dah dpt, masak lemak cili api pun dah, ayam percik dah. mangga pun dah. sabtu ni nasi kerabu pulak (thank god MASCA includes food mase beli tix theatre tu).

In conclusion dah dapat dh ape yg teringin n kempunan nak makan. Bile nk siapkan assignment CLB006 ni, cik Nisa??? No excuses dh pasni. cepat buat!!!

I thank U

2009-07-19T14:51:00.003+08:00

for coming back to my life.
This time, I wont let you go, not until you tell me to.

I Will Be (by Avril Lavigne)

There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe cause your here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Here with me do you see your all I need

And I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK

*** this song is like a vow i made to u. So each time u hear it, remember me, remember what i've told you***

Happy Days!

2009-06-25T18:05:00.001+08:00

Life's good. Alhamdulillah. Enjoying every moment of it.

Ketika Hati Menangis, Bulan pun Berteriak Duka

2009-05-14T18:14:00.004+08:00

Esok, genap sebulan abah pergi.
Tapi hari ini baru hati rasa kehilangan.

Maaf abah, bukan niatku utk meratapi pemergianmu.
Tapi sayu bila terkenangkan ketiadaanmu. Pilu merasi kehilanganmu.
Terkilan bila terfikirkan tak byk yg aku lakukan utkmu sewaktu kau masih bernafas.

Ampuni aku Tuhanku, tak berniat utk menyanggah takdirMu.
Harus kesedari, ketika Engkau mengambil dia dari sisiku, Engkau telah meyediakan sesuatu yg lebih baik utk diberikan kpdku.

Abah,
nantikan kepulanganku untuk menziarahimu.
wpun kali ini tak dpt kudengari suaramu, ku tahu, kau mendengariku.

Rest Well, Dad.

2009-04-21T17:40:00.002+08:00

Since u left so sudden, im sorry that there might be things u wanted to hear from me i didnt have the chance to say.

Yeah, i love you dad. That goes without saying.

I'm sorry that i didnt do much things for you.

I'm sorry that I wasn't by your side most of the time.

I'm sorry that I wasn't there to hold your hands when you were fighting for your life.

When i look back, I could see that u were such a strong person, to have to live alone for almost 14 years. I'm so proud of you and with that, I promise, someday I'll make u proud. Hope you rest in peace in there. My prayers will always be with u.

Ajariku Rahasiamu

2009-03-11T19:51:00.003+08:00

Dah banyak yg aku simpan
Ada byk yg ingin aku luahkan
tapi pada siapa?

ada yg sudi mendengar,
tp siapa yg sudi memahami?

aku,
ada dia yg mencintai
ada dia yg sudi berada di sisi
ada dia yang menghargai
seharusnya aku bahagia.
seharusnya aku CUBA untuk bahagia.

B.a.h.a.g.ia - itu yg ku cari.
semakin aku kejar semakin jauh ia pergi.
hanya keraguan yg bersarang dihati.

keliru,
aku benar keliru
sesekali bila kenangan lama datang,
aku hanyut.
aku relakan diri hanyut.
salah.
memang salah aku.
tapi,
bukan kuasa aku untuk menghalang semua itu.
sudah beribu batu aku berlari,
lari dari kisah silam yg sedih,
namun sesakali bila tersungkur,
aku masih memandang ke belakang,
mengharapkan ada yg dtg mengejar.

aku,
manusia yg lemah,
ketika membuat berjuta kesilapan,
aku hanya belajar seribu dari semuanya.

aku,
manusia yg cuai,
selalu membuat luka,
tapi hanya mampu mengungkapkan kata maaf.

seharusnya,
hati tak perlu berdusta,
seharusnya,
tiada rasa yang mesti tersiksa.
tapi beginilah aku.
menyimpan seluruh rasa tak tertanggung.

Semua Tentang Dirimu

2008-12-25T16:29:00.002+08:00

Dec 25 - Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating it.

I'll never forget what happened to me, a day after Christmas last year. I was in Cheras, at my sis's. It was past noon when i was walking to a nearby shop to get some food when a maroon WAJA stopped me. Inside, there was an indian couple. At first they asked me about the direction to a residential area which i had never heard of before. They looked worried and sad as according to them they were lost on their way to a Christmas open house. Then they persuaded me to lend them my hp to contact their friend. I asked the indian guy to give me his friend's no so that i could make the call. While i was dialling, the damn fucking indian guy snatched my hp and drove away. I was startled and looked into the direction where the car went. There goes my new-bought pink LG chocolate. I love the hp so much that it made me want to cry losing it. Somehow it was weird that i wasn't screaming for help or at least chase after the car.

It's a-day-after-christmas that i would never forget. It's not only because how idiotly stupid i could easily trust strangers. It's also because the incident has showed me that 'he' wasn't there and never care to be there for me when i needed him the most. It has marked the end of our relationship. It was winter in Japan at that time. I wanted to blame the weather for turning him to be cold towards me but i knew that wasn't it. He have had enough of me. I'm no longer fun to be with.

Looking back, it wasn't exactly the kind of memory i want to live with. But i can't help myself to remember it, especially now when it's during the same time as when it had happened. I wish to eliminate Dec 26 from my life's calendar but i knew it wouldn't happen. As for today, i'm scared to face tomorrow.

Caramel - Jauh

Pernah ada rasa cinta antara kita
namun kini tinggal kenangan
ingin kulupakan semua tentang dirimu
namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu oh bintangku

Thanks Edward!

2008-11-24T15:11:00.002+08:00

...coz after reading Twilight, i've learnt a lot frm u. U know, how to love someone, i mean how to REALLY love someone. If you could wait for a CENTURY to find the right one for you, why can't i?

Edward: Arghhh, u smell good even in the rain.

Bella: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Edward: Both bad and good.

..............................................................................................................................

Me: Arghh, my inbox is full with your messages. I even have to create a special folder for you.

E***: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Me: Both good and bad.

*wink wink*

p\s *** i am really scared to do a 'free fall' coz i usually fall into 'directions'. But i want to have a try. Gimme some courage pls!

Introducing My New Bf - Kimie =)

2008-11-08T23:04:00.009+08:00

Pretty catchy ha, the title of the post? Told ya i'm single but suddenly i have Kimie pulak. Yes, am not alone anymore. I now have Kimie, my cute oZ bf. Check him out! But b4 that, check out my 'kesayangan2' lain jugak! =D

My favourite silver ring of all. Can u see the word 'Happiness' on it? Loving it!

I finally own a camcorder with my hard-earned money. Pheuwww.

The 4th gen ipod i bought. Surprise! Surprise! It's pink. LoL.

...and, this is Kimie, my new bf! haha. told ya, he's an Oz. ROFL. =p

*Why Kimie? Coz he's a Christmas Bear. Krismas ~ Kimie. Does it make sense?*

This is Pandi. My bedmate.

Starting frm tonite, i'll have to share my bed with the two of them. I'm happy to do so coz i've been so lonely these days. Hugs.

Last but not least, my orange Olympus cam yg sgt berjasa. I love it. It has got lotsa memories in it. The memories that i still couldn't erase frm my mind. It still is - s.p.e.c.i.a.l -

***i'm lucky i'm in love with my best friend***
**lucky to have been where i have been**
*lucky to be coming home again*

My Wish-List ???

2008-10-30T21:00:00.006+08:00

Serabut. Serabai. Bosan.

3 perkataan di atas cukup utk menggambarkan hari yg aku lalui hari ni. Huhu

After minum sebotol Red Bull ni tibe2 hlg ngantuk lor. Jadi aku telah memutuskan utk mem blogging. Apakah yg ingin ku tulis hari ini? Kang tulis pasal masalah2 semasa kang bosan lak org bace blog aku ni, sampai nak tertido (btl tak Rozy? =p)

Uh-uh td ade aku dikejutkan dgn satu berita oleh sorang sahabatku ttg friendship crisis nye. haih. macam2 bleh jadi. being too close with someone not so good eh? btw wish her well lor. that's all i can do for her. Sigh.

Skang ni asik dgr org cakap2 pasal wish list jer. mm wpun bday aku lambat lagi, hehe tp tetibe nak buat la wish list. haha. gedik jer.

My Wish-List
(akan di update frm time to time. muahaha)

1. Pen Parker (silver-gold)

2. -got it!-

3. A compilation of all of Rihanna's Official Music Videos

4. A Suzuki Swift

5. Lelaki yg telah ditakdirkan utk aku. haha

6. Buku yg bertajuk 'He's not so into you'

Adeh nak buat ape pun tak jadi hari ni. serabut pikir macam2. pikir pasal nak tukar ke tak tiket balik msia. Tetibe rase nak balik ASAP lepas kol mak aritu. Pikir pasal next year nak stay kat mane. Rumah tak confirm2 lagi ni. haih. Assignments dah habis sume pun otak ni tak habis2 pikir lagi. Bilalah aku nak benti berfikir ni. Mungkin bila nafas ini terhenti? Tapi mati tak semudah hidup kan. Bukannya nak kate hidup ni mudah. Susah giler sebenarnya. Haih. Semoga Tuhan terus memberi aku ketabahan. Amin.

I've Got a Baby Due at anytime by now BUT i can't keep it!!! >_<

2008-10-15T04:44:00.008+08:00

... i mean it's due on my gum... and... it's my wisdom tooth!

As i can feel its birth with my very single nerve, I've decided that it wud be one of my memorable experiences on EARTH!

Oh Mr. Wisdom (tooth), you've caused my delicate gum injured & infected. I can't hardly eat and it's so frustrating coz i love to eat, and eat, and eat. =(

Guess what i've eaten so far

Day 1 :

Breakfast : none (coz i wana keep my teeth clean when seeing the dentist)
Lunch : grass jelly (extracted from Taro drink)
Afternoon tea: a blueberry muffin mashed in hot Milo
Dinner : a piece of French toast (super soft)
Supper : a bowl of porridge (made with love by my housemate, Ayu---> Thanks housemate!)

Day 2 :

Breakfast : a piece of French toast (super soft) dipped in Hot milo + 100ml of tears (it hurt so much to swallow that it made me cried)
Lunch : a bowl of bubur jagung
Dinner : a bowl of porridge with chicken soup (gravy) and veggie + chicken fillet chopped into pieces =p

Day 3 :

Breakfast : 4 pieces of Arnott's scotch finger mashed in hot nescafe
Lunch : Mix melons drink (from easyway)
Dinner : A scoop of rice soaked in hot veggie soup, fried noodle (indomie)

Day 4 :

Breakfast : Some porridge & fried rice

... this menu included antibiotics, painkillers and warm salt water, as suggested by the doctor...

Oh-oh-oh, this situation is so hard to bear with. I hope my 'patience shoes' will walk me through.

"If Allah brings you TO it, He'll bring you THROUGH it,"
(agreed after Anis & iner's Ym status)

... sickness really does provoke my sanity!

*p/s* Nisa, you'd better be wiser from now on, worth the 'painful birth' of the so-called 'Wisdom tooth' =(

mak awak, mak saya jugak! ececeh

2008-10-08T20:44:00.002+08:00

wahhh lame kunantikan saat ini utk bersenang2 & meng update blog. akhirnya free pun.

event kali ini adalah Raya.Aidilfitri 2008. First time raya away frm home ni. Kecoh jugak siblings n kengkawan tny, ok ke, k.o ke. So inilah ctenye...

Raya kali ni aku balik kg jugak, tp nama kg ni cam spesel sket, iaitu 'Macquarie Village' (yg terletak di Sydney. huahua). ok la tu, feel balik kg ader la jugak mase naik flight kan.

Preparation raya kali ni boleh tahan la jugak. siap buat kueh mueh lagi. rendang, nasi impit (btl ke aku eja ni?) dll ader jer. siap ngn kuah kacang lagi. ni semua di initiated kan oleh itek la ni. hehe. ketua chef kat 182. hands down la itek! iner pun tak kurang hebat rajinnya. sampai demam2 dia. sian kat dia. mesti dia tak biase berpenat2 cam gini mase raya ngn family kan. aku cam biase dah. sb tak nak bagi mak penat sgt, aku sanggup tlg mak buat ape jer bila nak raye nih. Dulu aku igt lagi, pernah 2x raye tak dapat beraya ngn mak sebab mak kene admitted to hospital. Sedeh ok. Oh tetibe teringat lak kate2 itek hari tu ;

"skang i dah paham dah ape perasaan makcik2 bila nak raya. penat!!!"

hehe btl2. mmg pnt. tp setahun sekali jer. dapat kumpul ngn family ramai2 hilang pnt. oh family. =( kali ni raye takder family la. sebab tu 1st raye jer raye. then 2nd raye onwards mood raye takder dah. tp, kat negara org ni, kwn2 la family aku. especially kwn2 yg rapat cam iner, far, dee and all. Sb tulah aku chose to raya with them.

Last time dtg sydney aku berkampung kat bilik iner, tp kali ni sempat 2mlm pertama ngn 2mlm terakhir jer sb yana (kwn sek iner) dtg raya n dok bilik iner. Jadi aku pun berkampung kat bilik itek. hehe. selama 5 hari 4 malam aku bersama itek, jd aku pun dapat mengenali Si Darah B dgn lebeh mendalam. huahua. Tp seriously tak tahan bila itek menyanyikan lagu 'Happy Birthday' version Rani dalam kabhi kushi kabhi ghum tu. mak aiiiiii. hentikan!!! Oh btw aku sempat gak bermalam ngn Dee satu malam. hehe. satu malam yg pnuh makna =p

So mase raye aku g 2 open house, tu pun dah nak pecah perot aku. Sedap2. Msian food adalah sedap tahap alam ok! Tp open house yg kat msian hall tu aku tak g sebab flight aku hari yg same. Haa... cakap pasal flight ni, aku mmg pangkah dah jetstar pasni. 7 jam flight aku kene delay. Lunyai aku kat airport Sydney tu. huhu. Dem girls. around the world. hehe.

Oh another thing yg aku akan igt pasal Aidilfitri 2008 ni adelah pasal ader assigment due sehari sebelum raya. tension giler! naseb la ader itek yg bersusah payah kejut aku bgn buat esemen lepas sahur. thanks itek! tak pasal2 assignment tu siap sehari awal. haha.

Apa yg plg menyentuh hati aku raye kali ni adalah mase aku kol mak utk bermaaf2an. At the end of our conversation, mak siap cakap lagi " mak pun mintak maaf jugak kalau mak ader slah silap". Wahh humble nye mak. Wpun seorang ibu tu takkan ader dosa ngn anak2 dia, tp mak ttp mintak maaf. Kalaulah abah boleh fikir cam mak fikir, kan bagus. Tp cam tak mungkin je kan.

So itulah cerita raye aku. takder ape2 yg menarik pun. Tp aku rase bertuah sb raye kali ni dapat raye ngn kwn2. hehe. ader la kelainan kan. pastu mase iner demam tu, aku berpeluang la jaga roomie kesayangan aku tu. kat IPBA tak berpeluang sb dia tu PBSM. hehe. Btw sorryla iner, tak byk spent time ngn awak time raye tu. Tp frust ok, kene korbankan BONDI sb nak siapkan assignment. huhu. Summer ni nak qada' balik ok!

Haa tetibe jer kau teringat kontroversi yg telah aku timbulkan mase raye. aku ajak iner letak status FB in a realationship dgn aku, pastu iner kene sound ngn ashu n along dia. aku rase bersalah giler. Apela yg aku cuba buat tah. Tp anda2 diluar sane jgn gelabah, saya adelah straight! Di hati saya ini masih ader seorang lelaki yg saya cintai (???) =p Saya begitu rapat dgn iner sb dia adalah roomie sy selama 2 thun dan dia dah dianggap cam adik sy jer. hehe =) n dia halal utk sy sntuh2 (haha nak jugak cakap ni).

The la-la-la journey

2008-08-21T18:58:00.000+08:00

Today is a great day for me. I wish everyday is today. haha. Was soo happy to see an amount of money been deposited into my account. Haha that's my pay for 4 days of working. For me It's not the amount of money that matters but it's the hard work and experience that matter-priceless and precious.

Today is only my 6th day of working but there were a lot of wonderful things happened within these days. I've finally decided to embrace these wonderful memories in my blog so that later when i leave Australia I have something to look back and smile.

On my 1st day of working, I was sent to an 'i-never-heard-of-it-before" place called Albany Creek. It's in zone 3 (2 zones after kelvin grove). That nite before i went to work i googled how to get to that place but i did not printed out the so-called map. The day I went to work I ended up lost looking for the childcare center (known as KizBiz). My supervisor had only told me that the childcare centre is located at Keong Road. Maybe she did not know that the Keong Road is such a longgggggggggg road. I went up and down and up again and down again and up again (after almost 2 hours). I can just give up and go home but i didn't. That's one of the wonderful things. I had great time with the kids at the centre. They are so gorgeous and very2 entertaining. There is this little girl and she's only 2 years old (opss i forgot her name), i'm not sure where she learned this but I caught her saying something like "George you are suck!" . Haha damn funny. See..how fast kids learn frm us adults.
Before i went back home that day, I managed to make a little boy cried (haha sounds so cruel) but it was over a good thing coz he cried over me. He did not want to let me go coz he wanted me to continue playing with him. (told ya, kids love me aren't they? =p ).

On my 4th day of working, I learnt how to change nappies. That was a wholeeeeee new experience for me. I always wanted to avoid changing nappies coz i think it is so disgusting. But i've changed my mind over that thing. why??? because there is this baby girl (her name is Cleo) when i've finished doing her nappy, she suddenly hugged me and said "mummy". OMG i was sooOOO touched. I wish I have my own baby. Haha. Cleo oh Cleo i miss u! Hope to see u again eh =)

Yesterday i worked at a place called Enoggera. Once again I got lost on my way to the ABC childcare centre. I ended up at Mother Duck Childcare Centre. I went there and asked for directions. The director of the the centre then offered herself to drive me to the ABC childcare centre. I was amazed to know how nice she was. She told me that before she started to run her own childcare centre, she was just a casual worker like me. She cannot forget how often she got lost on her way to work. I was so thankful and grateful. I wish to meet this kind of people every day in my life! Thank God!

...and today my wish has been fulfilled! A met a nice man (whose wife is a Singaporean) who sent me to the train station when I was struggling on my own looking for the way back frm work. How lucky I am. Thank you so much God, for everything. =)

Btw just wana add something while it is still fresh in mind. In the centre i went today (kidS r Us) a cute little girl insisted that i sat down and watch her performance. 'Sit down, i want to give you a show' she said. Omg she was awesome. She sang and danced and that was sooO beautiful. Yeah, Australia's got talents, no doubts.
When i went back home today, I can't stop picturing her with her show. She was really cute and I was so touched. Thanks darling!

***p/s: Life is a great mystery that makes everything beautiful and exciting; a mystery that makes us yearn and strive for more.***

Sejak bila???

2008-08-10T21:15:00.000+08:00

Kalau lw benar mau tau sejak bila gw udah gag ada perasaan cinta sama lw, gw udah ada jwbannya. Saat lw bilang sama gw bahawa lw udah gag cintai gw lagi, saat itulah gw berenti mencintai lw. Lw tau gag gw sedeh bangat saat lw ucapin kata-kata itu pada gw. Gw bagai gag percaya cinta lw sama gw bisa lenyap sepantas itu. Sepertinya apa yg kita lalui sebelum ini hanya pura-pura belaka. Kecil bangat gw di hati lw selama ini ya. Tp gw bersyukur kerna paling2 gw tau bahwa lw bukanlah yg terbaik utk gw. Gw pcaya bahwa suatu saat nanti gw pasti akan ketemu insan yg benar2 ikhlas mencintai gw.

Sekarang gw jelas sekali bahwa di hati gw ini udah gag ada apa-apa perasaan istimewa buat lw. Segenap rasa gw udah mati untuk lw. Jadi gw mohon maaf sama lw kerna gw pikir gw gag akan bisa pergi lebih jauh bersama lw. Ya, kita masih bisa bersahabat tp gw gag pasti sama ada lw itu benar2 ikhlas atau gag utk bershabat sama gw. Gw benar2 gag tau apa gunanya lagi lw di sisi gw atau gw di sisi lw. Benar, sayang skali utk kita putuskan semua yg udah terjalin lebih 2 tahun ini tp it's not how long u know someone, but it is how much u know someone.

Makin lama gw kenal lw, gw seperti makin gag ngerti isi hati lw. Gw gag tau apa mau lw. Kdg2 lw itu manja bangat sama gw tp ada waktunya lw jadi dingin bangat. Capek gw layanin karenah lw itu, tau gag.

Lw pernah dgr gag lagu Anuar Zain --> Tinggalkan aku. Gw rasa lagu itu cocok benar sama lw =p

Katamu cinta t'lah tiada
Sendiri aku menahan pedih ini
Hilang semua rasa, habis begitu saja
Untuk bersama buat selamanya

Katamu dia yang lebih sempurna
Dialah di jiwa Dia nafas asmara
Bisikan kata-kata akhirmu itu
Menusuk jiwaku
Kini kau datang untuk kembali
Padaku

Pergi sudah tinggalkan aku
Ku tak ingin engkau ada
Kembali lagi ke dalam
Cerita hidupku ini
Kubahagia tanpa dirimu
Biar begini adanya aku (karna)
Tanpamu kutemukan sinarnya

Bisikan kata akhirmu itu
Menusuk jiwaku
Kini kau datang kembali
Padaku lagi

Usah lagi kau guris hatiku
Ku tak mahu lagi
Merasakan hadirmu dalam duniaku
Pergilah dari hidupku

SeseKali hati terusik air mata tumpaH jua...

2008-08-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

gW capek banget kok hari ni. Semalaman gw nyiapin 'project' gw.
tadinya gw lagi berbual sama teman lama gw. entah gi mana kami tersentuh kisah Silam gw.
Gw langsung jd sedih mengenang kisaH cinta gw yg suDah beraKhir itu. gw gag ngerTi ngapa gw harus sedEh mikirin soal itu. Udah lama Kok gw tinggaLkan semuanya.
Tapi gag nGapa aah. Kerna mmg benar kdgkala jika hati terUsik air mata Pasti jatuh jua. gag salah kan menangis? Cuma yg Salahnya bila gw gag ada bahu yg dapat gw jadikan tempat Gw menangis =(

Gi mana SekaliPun gw BerSyukur bangat PaDa Tuhan kerNa setelaH apa Yg gw laluin, gw jadi lebih matang dan LebiH faHam ttg hiDup.

*****ineR, bangun dong, gw butuh sangat sama lw! =(

Happy Birthday Iner!

2008-07-27T03:09:00.000+08:00

*p/s* semoga dengan video ini lw dapat merasai keberadaan gw di hari lahir lw. Selamat gw ucapkan! =)

Sydney is always in my heart (so as my girls)

2008-07-19T22:12:00.000+08:00

sweet nye roomies ni =p
thanks dee for the black dress!
kita comel bangat ya itek?..hehe..
What was iner doing, anyone???
Juara & Naib juara bintang kecil!
Jackie Chan tgk ni mesti ajak blakon same.
o-yeah-yeah
One of the gathering rituals (thanks for the shades itek! haha pls come to Brissy to get it back frm me)
Jauh di mata dekat di hati. Syggg bangat!
Stargazing at Bondi (yes we did!)
Good friends left footprints on my heart =)

It has been more than a month i haven't updated my blog.Hoho hangat2 taik ayam seh aku ini. For those yg pernah read my blog b4 will surely realize that this post is totally different from the previous posts (which were full of expressions on sadness, frustration et all).

Sejak gwa pulang dr Sydney gwa happy banget seh. Udah lama gwa nGgak Happy kaya gini.hoho (pengaruh bahasa indon which i got from Dee :] ) Pokoknya gwa benar2 terasa for these few months rupanya2 gwa kangen bangat sama teman2 rapat gwe (iner, far, dee et all). Waktu gwa ngambil keputusan utk pilih QUT dulu tu gwa ngGak pernah ambil kira risiko kalu gwa jauh same teman2 gwa ini. Nyesal jugak gwa kali ini. Tapi gi mane sekali pun hidup mesti diterusin. Haha.Gwa akan usaha visit teman2 gwa selalu. Paling cepat gwa merancang ketemu mereka september ini (waduhh gwa udah benar2 ngGak sabar ini).

The day i departed to Sydney I missed my pre-booked flight but that didn't stop me to go on with my journey. Thinking about Fariza & iner's nasi ayam itself gave me the courage to look for other available ticket and fly to Sydney on the same day.

Seminggu gwa di Sydney gwa pikir itu bisa jadi agak panjang waktunya. Tapi bila gwa udah di sana seminggu itu gwa rasa nGgak cukup seh. Berrrat bangat ketika gua mau berangkat pulang.

That morning when I was packing Dee asked me not to go back yet. Yeah, i was heavy-hearted but then I could not stay any longer as i've already booked ticket to go back. Iner sent me back until the Epping Train stn.

Lama skali gwa & iner berpelukan . Gwa nGgak sedar rupanya gwa rapat bangat sama iner. Roomies LOL. Benar ya apa yg ibu gwa bilang. teman gaduh tu teman yg plg diingatiN.

Sebelum gwa pulang ke Brisbane, gwa nyempat suruh teman2 gwa menulis dalam buku autograf buat tatapan gwa di airport sementara nunggu boarding time. Sampei sekarang gua masih selalu baca apa yg ditulisin mereka kerna gua selalu aja kangen sama mereka.

Pokoknya, apa yg ingin gwe suarakan di sini, gwa enjoy bangat spent time sama kalian semua (Iner, Dee, Fariza, Poh lin, chong. engGak lupa juga buat Anis. Trimas ya kerna jemputin gwa waktu gwe sampei Sydney).

p/s: Gwa mauuuuu bangat lihat Dee sama Anis berbaik semula kaya dulu. Gwa sygggg bangat sama kalian berdua.Gwa nGgak akan bisa kehilangan salah satu dr kalian pun. Gwa doakan kalian bisa ketemu jalan pendamaian suatu ketika nanti ok? =)

What I've gotta do?

2008-06-05T15:10:00.000+08:00

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

*****Please tell me what I've gotta do.I'll do everything, anything...and in returns, I won't ask u for much...I just need u to love me...love me like u used to love me...that's all i'm asking for.That's all...

How much do teachers make? Tribute to all teachers.....

2008-05-23T10:25:00.000+08:00

*WHAT TEACHERS MAKE*

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, 'What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?'

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: 'Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.'

To stress his point he said to another guest; 'You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?'

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, 'You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

'Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?' (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

''I make kids wonder.

I make them question.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write.
Keyboarding isn't everything.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them show all their work in maths.

They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.
I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.'

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.)

'Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything; I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant...

You want to know what I make?

*I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.* What do you make Mr. CEO?'

His jaw dropped, he went silent.

**P/S: This was forwarded by Madam FaZhuda ^__^ (Love It)

I won't Give Up on This Love!

2008-05-10T18:59:00.000+08:00

Gosh...Love this song >_<

THE VERONICAS

"This Love"

I, I,
I can see it in your eyes
Taste it in our first kiss
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)
Save me from my emptiness (save me)

You took my hand
You told me it would be ok
I trusted you to hold my heart
Now fate is pulling me away, from you

Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love

You've become a piece of me
Makes me sick to even think
Of mornings waking up alone
Searching for you in my sheets
Don't fade, away

Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love

I can't just close the door
(on this love)
I never felt anything like this before
(like this love)
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through
Will you hold on too 'cause

Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love

Even if I leave you now (leave you now)
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around (not around)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love

****P/S: Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation

Words Can't Bring me Down

2008-05-07T11:37:00.000+08:00

i am thinking of a Christina Aguilera's song 'Beautiful' when i write this piece of writing.

"Don't look at me...

Everyday is so wonderful
Then suddenly
It's hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain
I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends
You're delirious
So consumed
In all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The pieces gone
Left the puzzle undone
Is that the way it is

You are beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
Cause you are beautiful
In every single way
Yes words can't bring you down
So don't you bring me down today

No matter what we do
No matter what we say
We're the song inside the tune
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
The sun will always shine
And tomorrow we might awake on the other side

Cause we are beautiful
No matter what they say
Yes words won't bring us down, no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can't bring us down
So don't you bring me down today......"

so ladies...whatever it is....don't let the guys bring you down....

****p/s :
NOBODY really CARES if you are MISERABLE so you might as well BE HAPPY!